Laurence White
I.
the door is closing
god lives in my hips
and names me a
lily flower
in this hour i am owed
bread
and butter.
i have gone mad,
and hungry
for paradise.
i wash myself clean.
i will pray and
i will listen
II.
he skipped town
with the dead girl
and, i having grown
tired welcomed Grief
among the flowers
(blonde petals curl in
strange light)
nothing could stop
my opening to life
in all of my tenderness
and confusion.
for every time i do,
i see myself, i see god
and i see
no difference
III.
i had a dream
you knelt at my feet
this is the only way
we could ever meet
should we ever meet
again
i paid no attention to
the ache of my
sternum split chest
red like night bloomed
anemone when i wake
IV.
i made a mistake
spilled new blood,
let what is dead
stay dead
i am done waiting
for flowers to bloom
from the same rot
that only
Ever lied
about its becoming
Laurence White (they/them) is a non-binary Kentucky born poet who lives in Santa Cruz, California. Their latest publication appears in the anthology What Keeps us Here: Songs from The Other Side of Trauma. When Laurence is not speaking or listening, they are in silence or searching for its stillness. There you will find them.