anemone bloom

Laurence White

the door is closing
god lives in my hips
and names me a
                  lily flower
in this hour i am owed
                  and butter.
i have gone mad,
                  and hungry
for paradise.
i wash myself clean.
i will pray and
                  i will listen
he skipped town
      with the dead girl
and, i having grown
tired welcomed Grief
among the flowers
   (blonde petals curl in
   strange light)
nothing could stop
         my opening to life
in all of my tenderness
                  and confusion.
for every time i do,
i see myself, i see god
and i see
no difference

i had a dream
you knelt at my feet

this is the only way
we could ever meet
should we ever meet
i paid no attention to
the ache of my
sternum split chest
red like night bloomed
anemone when i wake

i made a mistake
spilled new blood,
let what is dead
                     stay dead
i am done waiting
for flowers to bloom
from the same rot
that only
                        Ever lied
about its becoming

Laurence White (they/them) is a non-binary Kentucky born poet who lives in Santa Cruz, California. Their latest publication appears in the anthology What Keeps us Here: Songs from The Other Side of Trauma. When Laurence is not speaking or listening, they are in silence or searching for its stillness. There you will find them.

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